


How Far I'd Go

by Katrina_Leann



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fix-It, actual communication
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-10
Updated: 2016-05-10
Packaged: 2018-06-07 13:11:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6806176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katrina_Leann/pseuds/Katrina_Leann
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rumple wrestles his own doubts when it comes to he and Belle. But before they can talk, he needs to wake her up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How Far I'd Go

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry for all the crap that the writers are making them go through. At this point, fanfic updates mean more to me than show updates.

At this point he'd just about given up.

Oh, it was no secret to him how much Moe hated him. He could feel it in the air between them and feel it in the man's harsh words. Even if the cruelty and hostility was deserved, the love he had _should_ have for Belle _should_ have nullified all of that.

He was her father!

Rumple slumped into the chair he had positioned next to the cot where Belle was currently resting.

She looked so peaceful, auburn curls spread out in waves across the pillow, a light blanket wrapped around her small form.

But Rumple knew better, looks were deceiving after all.

Though her brow was smooth and her face relaxed, it wouldn't stay that way. No, this spell would haunt her long after she woke up.

If she woke up.

That thought alone sent all the voices and plans and deals in his head to a skidding halt, his body slumping forward in grief. Belle was in danger. His child was in danger.

Was the power really worth all of that? Was it worth Belle's life? His future son or daughter?

He blinked slowly.

Belle didn't believe in him. He'd seen it, clear as day in her eyes. That beautiful spark had faded, leaving only mistrust and betrayal. Even now the feeling of how she'd used a kiss to distract him made the bitter and salty taste of acid climb his throat.

And _that_ hadn't been the worst.

No. The worst had been the way she had looked at him, the way she had blamed her regret for what happened with Gaston on him.

Rumple had never wanted Belle to have to turn to darkness. Not in this lifetime or the next. His own heart had shattered as he watched her shove Gaston into the river.

But there has been something else there too.

When everything had come to a halt and Belle had been forced, consequence of her own actions, to choose... she'd picked him.

That had meant something _far_ greater than words ever could. Then of course had come the heartbreak.

As was usual with them.

She said that she'd regretted it. Regretted killing a man who was determined to end Rumple's life.

That made him shiver, biting his lip hard to keep from breaking at the seams. Already his breathing was labored with raw pain, every intake forced through the molten lava of his chest, burning and scalding and just pain. So much _pain_.

He'd killed his own father for her. Twice.

Peter Pan may have made countless mistakes, but he'd still been his flesh.

Gaston had been a unhappy engagement and was _already dead._

The Dark Ones screamed in perfect harmony, each flowing in with valid points as to why trusting Belle could simply never be done again.

The power was immense and corrupt and dark, but it had never left him. It hadn't walked away, how many times had she?

Rumple sat staring at nothing for a long while, trying to calm the raging war in his mind. The darkness screamed at him to leave her, forget she existed and show these people how merciful he had been. Show them what he could _really_ do.

The spinner reminded him that they were true love. That Belle was worth so much.

That she was carrying his child.

Mind made up Rumple leaned over Belle and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. He wanted to go in blindly and just trust, but he now knew he had to be realistic.

Despite it all he loved her. And he owed her and their baby at least this chance.

His lips met hers tenderly, and Rumple knew it was different this time as a tingle started from the point their lips met and raced throughout him.

He didn't linger, merely sat back on his heels and watched as her body arched up and she gasped, blinking rapidly.

Her blue eyes scanned the room in utter confusion, until they landed on his.

"You?" She asked softly, almost reaching out to touch his cheek, then letting her arm fall down last second.

He took a deep breath, hoping he didn't look as shaky as he felt. "Yeah, me." And then because he was heartbroken and confused and angry he added a bitter, "Sorry to disappoint."

Belle lurched backwards at that, "What?"

"I see now, I finally see Belle. You told me that night at the town line that you just wanted to be enough, and now I see that _I'm_ not enough. And that's okay, Belle. That's how it should be."

"Rumple... Where is this coming from? I-I don't understand." Belle stammered, and wasn't that awful? Queen of reading and literature. Proper spelling and a fluid grammatical reputation.

"I think you do Belle," he responded, gently though. He didn't want to hurt her. He never wanted to hurt her.

"No! This doesn't get to end like this! No-"

But Rumple had already stood up, walking towards the door.

"Rumple! Please, Rumple. Please don't go." Her voice broke on her tears and, damn it all, he couldn't leave. Not like that.

Belle gave a sniffle and sat back down on the cot. "Your leg... If you don't have magic anymore, how is it healed?"

It was a rather pathetic attempt to start a conversation, the words pushed through a sob and raspy.

"Hook actually. Right before our sword fight he made it stronger. Healed up the bone."

Belle nodded for a moment, then abruptly stopped. Then made a sound between a choke and a whimper.

He barely heard her brokenly mumbled, "Made it stronger."

Then she slid to the floor.

"Belle! What's wrong?"

"The gauntlet. Please don't tell me...strength. Oh _gods_!" She lurched forward again, arms wrapped tightly around her middle.

Rumple rubbed her back soothingly, slowly putting the mental pieces together as to what had happened.

"Rumple, please tell me it's not because I was your strength. Please tell me I didn't..." Her eyes searched his desperately, pleading.

And he wanted to lie. Not so he could deceive her or scheme, but to protect her from the complete breaking point he could see building in her tear filled eyes.

He didn't, though. No, those days were behind him now.

Even so, when she pitched forward he went down with her, holding her as she wept against his shirt.

"I'm so sorry, Rumple. I-I'm so... I'm sorry."

What was he supposed to say? _'It's okay?'_ That'd be a lie, because it wasn't okay. Nothing about that night had been okay. Not him trying to kill Hook nor the banishment after it.

"What's done is done, Belle. We can't change it."

Her sobbing had gradually ebbed down to small hiccups, but she didn't move out of his arms.

As if she could read his mind she murmured, "Please don't leave, Rumple. I need you."

"You don't need anyone, Belle. You're too strong for that."

And it was the truth. Belle didn't _need_ anyone.

"I thought so too. And then you were in danger," her head fell against his shoulder with an audible _thunk_. "What I said, back in the Underworld-"

"Belle-"

She put a finger against his lips, "No Rumple, please. Please let me say this."

Rumple nodded slowly, brutally suppressing the timid hope that dared to try and surface.

"I had just done something I never saw myself capable of doing. I never thought I'd..." she trailed off for a long moment before nuzzling against his shoulder, "but he threatened you. And I know what I said, Rumple. But I'd do it again. That terrifies me."

Rumple frowned, looking at her critically. "What does?"

Belle touched his cheek, "How far I'd go to protect you."

Rumple closed his eyes briefly.

There was so much pain between them. So much pain and hurt and distance.

But there was also a bridge. This, right here, with Belle in his arms.

His anchor to himself.

To his soul.

"I love you, Belle." He whispered quietly, but only after she'd fallen asleep. Or he thought she had.

"I love you too, Rumple. So much."

And, for quite possibly the first time ever, he believed it.


End file.
